Can you deal with a Possessive Man?
In my previous article I brought to your knowledge the signs, dangers of been in this kind of relationship. I also explained how to avoid getting into this kind of relationship. you can read the article here
Note that leaving this kind of relationship is not as easy as it sounds but it is possible.
STEPS TO DEALING WITH OVER POSSESSIVE MEN
- Understand him: The first step to really dealing with an over possessive man is by understanding his reason for been that way. Some men are over possessive due to their past experiences. So make sure you understand where his coming from and learn to forgive him. Speak to him and let him explain himself to you. Speak to him slowly and gently like a child. Do this at a time he is relaxed.
- Reassure him of your feelings: After understanding the reason for his action. Reassure him of your feelings for him. He might be afraid that you would leave him. Tell him you love him and that you will never leave him. Don’t say what you don’t feel
- Spend time with him: He might be throwing all this fists because you ignore him and you spend more time with others than with him. So why don’t you spend more time with him, take him out to dinner or watch a football match with him even if you hate it.
Do interesting things together especially what he loves, for example if he is passionate about food sit with him in the kitchen. Or surprise him with a new recipe even if you hate cooking. Remember love is sacrificial.
let him know that that it is okay for you both to spend time apart especially if you feel suffocated
- Put it in prayer: It is always important to put God in charge of your relationship. Tell him what is happening and ask him to take control. Ask him to give you the strength to overcome. Make sure that the relationship you are in is supported by God. That’s the only way you can prosper in it. Ask God to change him and make him a better person.
Don’t let him hurt you.Never make excuse for a man who hits you,you are not his punching bag. If he gets over possessive and hits you run away and seek for help
If after the above step and he is still over possessive. Then It’s time to break up especially when he is hitting you like his personal punching bag.
STEPS TO BREAKING UP
- Think about it: Ask yourself if that is what you want if you can deal with the pain. Or is this something you can help him overcome. Make sure you carefully think about this first.
- Plan your escape: one of the biggest mistakes some women who want to leave this kind of relationship make is that they start yelling and telling the man that they would leave him. That will put an immediate end to your escape plane because he will never let you go.
Slowly but cleverly plan your escape. If you are living with him be slowly removing your belongings from his house make sure he suspects nothing.
- End it all: Cut of all communication. You don’t need to break up with him face to face, for your safety I recommend breaking up with him through the phone. Or in your family house when your family members are around, or you can simply write a note and tell him you are leaving him for good. You don’t owe him any explanations.
Change your phone number or email if possible. Stop going to places you know he will easily find you. If you have a child take him or her with you. He will put his anger on the child.
- Seek help: As i said before it’s not easy to leave an over possessive relationship. The man can be dangerous and might be a threat to your life, most especially if he physically abuses you. So seek help.
Tell your family about him, tell someone you trust.
- GO UNDER POLICE PROTECTION and file for a restraining order:Trust me he will never give up, so leave town go to a place where he will never find you. Make sure you tell your family members and friends not to tell him about your whereabouts. So as to protect your life. Be vigilant because he might have you followed Get professional help from a counselor, your pastor or someone you trust. Remember to pray for God’s strength.
- Take time to heal: learn to forgive yourself and heal. Only God can heal you and give you a better tomorrow. Pray for his protection.
If he corners you,yell for help or hit him hard on the groin and run away. Start attending a self defense class. If he is following you, enter into a crowded shop nearby call someone you trust to take you home or the police, Stay there until the police arrives. Remember that many women have gone through this and still are. So you are not alone
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