Today I turn twenty three and this year has been eye opening for me. I have made a lot of mistakes, done things I wish I could take back and people I wish I never met, sacrifices I wished I never made, opportunities I wished I never missed but in all as they say it is all a step into greatness. I am grateful to be turning twenty three. I decided to write a letter to my younger self, writing this letter has been overwhelming and emotional for me it is truly therapeutic. Try it soon.
Dear baby Nancy,
First of all I want to know that you are beautiful beyond words, talented, smart, funny, kind with a heart of gold and you are deserving of all the love in the world. Stop worrying about what everyone thinks, stop trying to fit in and be you.
High school is going to be one of your toughest you will crash, make a lot of mistakes, people you trust will betray you and the very first boy you ever loved will reject you, but you will be fine because you are a warrior. Don’t let the world’s perception of beauty affect you, the mirror is not your enemy, don’t let anyone make you feel like you are not worthy of love or that your size makes you unattractive. You are a walking goddess.
You are going to face a lot of verbal abuse from someone in your family that will leave scars, make you have suicidal thoughts, go into depression but baby you won’t let it keep you down for long . All those scars are battle scars you are a fighter, a warrior.
You will go through years searching for love everywhere because you didn’t get any, and this will lead to a lot of mistakes and heartaches. You are loved, and you are more than enough in everything learn to love yourself, stop searching for love, it will find you, focus on building yourself and your dreams. Mom and dad are going to separate again and you will be in the middle of their fight and this will break your heart, you are going to miss your grandmothers burial because you are caught in the middle of two elephants fighting. It is not your fault please forgive yourself and know that she understands why you didn’t say your last goodbye. You will lose contact with your best friend and you will try everything to get to her, sweetheart it is time to let go of that relationship anyone who is not willing to fight for you is not fighting for. You will have some of the worst roommates in college but know that each of them are there to teach you tolerance, love and forgiveness.
People you love will break your heart and betray you, you need to be strong and understand that everything will not always work out. You are emotional and this is what makes you who you are, people will try to take advantage of your kindness be wise and let no one step on you. Note that not everyone is worth supporting or fighting for. Stop hiding your talent and gifts, sweetheart shine because you are a star.
Most importantly love yourself… be YOU, pursue your dreams, don’t ever stop fighting for what you believe in, work hard to get on top because that is where you belong. Don’t make sacrifices for anyone who is undeserving. Don’t let anyone bring you down, learn to forget, forgiveness comes so easy to you but you find it so hard to forget, always know that you are worth fighting for. Be financially independent, have your own money many people have humiliated you because of this, depend on no one for this. The man beyond your dreams will meet you and you will live your own happily ever after because you deserve everything good. God loves you turn to him and he will make everything right. There is so much I want to tell you but I need to stop here and baby you are a warrior princess, a goddess, a badass, a diamond in the rough and you totally got this.
PS: you are going to get your first pregnancy test at eleven, don’t be afraid, forgive mom, I believe she means well
Nancy in progress