Everyone has once in their life experienced verbal abuse either from parents, teachers, friends, classmates, spouse, church members or even strangers. Verbal abuse is a topic people discuss very yet many still don’t understand it.

what is verbal abuse

Verbal abuse can be defined as a negative defining statement told to the victim or about the victim by withholding any response thereby defining the target as non existent[source:wikipedia] In my own definition verbal abuse is hurting someone with words in order to manipulate,control and intimidate. The tongue is very small but a very powerful tool, it could set a whole country on fire,cause endless wars, deaths and fears. That’s why the world that we speak carries so much power.

A lot of people hear about verbal abuse but they have no idea when there been verbally abused


  • when you are called very mean and degrading names
  • when you been yelled, screamed on for no just cause
  • when someone is constantly threatening you
  • when someone constantly shoves you past right at your face
  • when you publicly embarrassed and made to feel worthless
  • when only the wrong things you do are discussed
  • when someone constantly intimidates you{bullying}
  • No matter how hard you try you keep feeling worthless and useless because of what someone said
  • when your spouse or someone close to you never wants to discuss your feelings but always shuns you and claims you as starting an argument
  • you feel frustrated because you can’t get your spouse, friends or parents to understand your feelings/intentions
  • when someone is uses swear words at you

During courtship men and women hide their abusive side but will soon switch and that leaves many wondering

One thing i have noticed about abusers from my experience is that they have low self esteem and want someone that they will bring down with them.


It may suprise you to know that men also suffer from this. As i said earlier verbal abuse affects everyone. Verbal abuse has both short term and long term consequences.

  • It kills self esteem;anyone who is going through verbal abuse never agrees that they are worth anything. The victim might become anti-social and withdrawn from everyone.
  • The victim can harm oneself as well as others in order to relief pain for example using razor blades or knifes to cut one self.
  • The victim might turn into a monster, bully and a problem to society.
  • The victim might become abusive in the future.
  • The victim will kill him/or her self as well as the abuser.
  • He or she will become depressed and self destructive later in life. He or she might develop anxiety.
  • The victim will never be able to keep a relationship in life because of the fear of the unknow.


it is very difficult to overcome verbal abuse most especially when you live with the abuser under the same roof. The only way to really overcome verbal abuse is by turning to God and asking him to heal you and give you the strength to move on.Only God can give you the strength to ignore the verbal abuse and become a better person.

Whether we like it or not verbal abusers will always be around and they will always attack and and try to destroy people’s lives.

if you can move away from your abuser please do for your own peace of mind. Please don’t stay in a verbal relationship,it’s not worth it. break up today!


If you are reading this and you hurt people with words you need to stop. It’s not a day’s job trying to change from bad to good but you will be saving others from serious harm remember that you will be held accountable for every word you speak. So you have to:

  • understand that there is other ways you can solve a problem that is not cursing and swearing
  • ask God to help you to control your words as well as anger so as not to hurt others or your self

The biggest mistake verbal abusers make is thinking that cursing, swearing and hurting people with words is tough love. No one wants to be called names or treated badly so stop hurting people with words today.

i would really love to know your take on this article leave a comment below and please share!!

.©Nancy Nwankwo and Nancydesire.com 2014.


  1. Nice work Nancy……..Now I know when am being Abused verbally and when I am verbally abuiseing somone……Thanks for enlighting me on this topic because it never crossed my mine to do any reserch on it


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